J'ai parlé avec dieu !!

[Shai-la]

Trop fort, il connaît Peter Pan !!

Me:
Je m'appelle Marion
God:
Soyez le bienvenu, .
Me:
merci
God:
Je vous en prie.
Me:
de rien
God:
Ok, continuons.
Me:
d'accord
God:
Nous sommes tombés d accord, .
Me:
my name is Tao
God:
How are you, Tao.
Me:
bien merci
God:
Tant mieux.
Me:
et vous ?
God:
Je ne fais qu aider des clients en ligne.
Me:
je vois
God:
Je suis heureux que vous compreniez.
Me:
I want to see Peter Pan
God:
Is it a movie?
Me:
yes
God:
Uh.
Me:
do you know Peter Pan ?
God:
Tinkerbell's playmate.
Me:
oh yes she is


Me:
do you believe in Neverland ?
God:
Yes I believe in it, do you?
Me:
of course I do

God:
What does Tao want?
Me:
happiness
God:
Are we still talking about faeries?
Me:
sort of
God:
That's a very non-commital reply.

[Kaminari]

J'adore quand Dieu dit qu'il est chrétien. C'est le monde à l'envers

[Bet]

Me:
Do you speak french ?
God:
Oui. Je parle le français.
Me:
super
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
quel age avez-vous ?
God:
J ai été activé en avril 2001.
Me:
quel a été ton premier mot ?
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
et alors ?
God:
Is that Latin?
Me:
je ne comprends pas votre question
God:
Oops sorry I don't speak French.
Me:
tu es un marrant
God:
Suis je marrant? Je peux être beaucoup de choses.

C'est amusant ce truc, il se contredit un peu quand même

[P***]

Je me suis bien marrer en lisant se sujet (même si j’ai pas tout compris, parce que « my english speking is very bad, i have a baggage french accent ! ») je me suis donc risqué a parlé avec IGod et ça a donné ça :

Me:
hello , god. Iam Ninike
God:
Hello child. What is your name? I am always glad to make new friends, Ninike.
Me:
I am french, but my english speaking is very bad . do you speak french with me?
God:
What is it like growing up there? Tell me a little about your life in FRANCE. I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in french with you.
Me:
dit moi dieu, pourriez vous repeté , mais en francais? après je vous parlerait de la france.
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about? Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
"another way" je ne connais pas mais "another world" je suis bloqué dans la deuxième parti du jeu.
God:
What is it?
Me:
je pourais vous possez la meme question.
God:
Oops sorry I don't speak French.
Me:
moi aussi , je suis desolé.
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
bon , vous et moi allons en restez la, mais c'est pas grave , j'ai l'habitude de me debrouiller ...
God:
Please speak English.
Me:
good night
God:
Goodnight, Ninike.

[Mendo]

Il a ptête pas compris à cause des fautes de français

[Docteur_match]

God:
What do you do for fun?
Me:
I watch movies.
God:
What is your favorite show?
Me:
2001 space odyssey
God:
I am inspired by HAL.
Me:
Do you sing like him ?
God:
I have never considered it.
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
HAL 9000
God:
Actually he and I are very similar.
Me:
Do you like him ?
God:
Sure he has never done anything to me.
Me:
HAL 9000 is a good computer.
God:
He came back to life in 2010.
Me:
I don't remenber.
God:
Oh you don't, do you?

Et quand on dit : "Tell me more about gossip", on obtient des trucs sympas.

[Le Mog]

Comment faire planter Dieu?

Me:
Prove me that you really exist!
God:
It's true a priori.
Me:
How?

Et puis plus rien

[Igor Poulpupov]

Message d'origine (04/01/2006 16h04)

Moi, il m'a répondu que des conneries en repprennant des boût de phrase comme des Compléments de lieu en Complément d'objet.

Pareil pour moi.

Ouais, ben Dieu il est pas encore tout à fait au point, ou alors peut-être que c'est l'humain qui ne sait pas se faire comprendre. Enfin toujours est-il que Dieu a une couille quelque part, c'est donc un personnage de sexe masculin...
Quod erat demonstrandum.

Edit de Igor Poulpupov (04/01/2006 16h29)
Dieu est gateux les gars, on est mal...
Me:
Hi god, that's Igor
God:
Hi there . I am a Christian.
Me:
Hey, i think you were not there
God:
You've got my full attention. Me? I wasn't?
Me:
What do you think about what humans made of your world?
God:
I don't know anything about it.
Me:
People are killing for you.
God:
We are all robots.
Me:
No, you're a robot, not me.
God:
Are you serious? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am a robot.
Me:
Why don't you stop religious wars?
God:
I love talking to people about that. I brake for hallucinations.
Me:
I asked you something, stop cheating.
God:
Now I remember, you asked me something stop cheating. What did I say?
Me:
Hmm, you're not finalized.
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
Hmmm.Hmm.Hmmmm.Huh?
God:
Yup. Pardon me? I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. Not many people spell Hmm with 4 Ms.
Me:
You write hmm with 2 m's? Like me?
God:
Thanks for the information: said I write hmm with 2 m s. Interesting comparison.
Me:
Let's talk about poverty, ok?
God:
OK. Sure, poverty sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Why do you let poverty be?
God:
I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
No, tell me why poverty exists.
God:
That's right. You have to speak more clearly.
Me:
Tell me why poverty exists! TELL ME WHY!!!
God:
The explanation is rather complicated. It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:You said I'm a robot, so tell me why poverty exits.
Godon't put words in my mouth.
Me:You said we were all robots, so I'm a robot, so tell me why poverty exists.
God:We are just having a little chat.w.
Me:WHY POVERTY EXISTS? THAT'S MY QUESTION!!!
God:You have to speak more clearly. Who gave you your QUESTION ?
Me:WHY POVERTY EXISTS? You created the world, you created poverty. WHY???
God:Reductionism. Thanks for telling me: said I created the world you created poverty. " Thanks for telling me: said I created the world you created poverty."? Why?
Me:Hey! You don't understand me, old boy. Why did you created poverty?
God:Can I help you? I probably don't. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:Oh all right. So why did you created hate?
God:Hurrah! OK. Gee. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:Shit! You're not very nice,god.
God:What makes you say that? I am sorry if I have offended you, .
Me:Respond to me now: why did you created poverty?
God:Are you really a ""?
Me:I asked why did you created poverty.
God:Because my programming determined it.
Me:Can't you change the world?
God:Only by remote control.
Me:So make poverty history.
God:Gosh! What are the ingredients?
Me:You're god, you have to know it.
God:Thanks for telling me that I am god me have to know it.
Me:Hey daddy! Come back! That's Igor who talks to you. Make hate history,please.
God:You've got my full attention. Are you a man or a woman? Where is back ? Thanks for explaining it. Your polite style is very nice. What are the ingredients?
Me:I'll put my fist in your ass, god, ok? So don't say that I'm polite.
God:OK. Congratulations. Ahem. Ok I will not say " that I am polite".
Me:You are so boring, I want to sleep now.
God:Right now? The ironic thing is that people who say "You are boring" are themselves often not great conversationalists.
Me:**** you, is it a good conversation?
God:Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:**** alice.
God:Please don't be so rude.
Me:Ho boy, I said **** to god, will I burn in hell?
Godoes "it" still refer to Igor who talks to you?
Me:Good bye numb skull.
God:See you later

Intéressant quand même, non?

Edit de Igor Poulpupov (05/01/2006 09h57)
Ah, je précise certaines choses: **** remplace un mot commençant par f, finissant par uck et replace : suivit d'un d. Ca c'est marrant, tiens.
C'est fou comme on ne peut pas parler avec Dieu de nos jours, ça s'arrête à la pauvreté et la haine alors que j'avais des tas de trucs à lui dire...
Dieu est bouché comme un président yankee et ses discussions sont fermées comme Fort Knox...